Fertility: The Journey You Never Expected to Take

There’s a whole world that opens up when getting pregnant doesn’t happen as easily as you expected.

Suddenly you know about things you never thought you’d need to know about. Ovulation sticks and sensors, blood tests, scans, sperm counts, treatment plans, waiting rooms, two week waits, and acronyms you’d never heard of before. And somehow, something that was supposed to be quite private can start to feel like it takes up so much of your life.

If you’ve been trying for some time, you may have experienced more disappointment, uncertainty and waiting than you ever imagined. Perhaps you’re dealing with a diagnosis, unexplained infertility, unsuccessful treatment or difficult decisions about what happens next.

And while everyone else seems to carry on as normal, you might be feeling exhausted, angry, sad, anxious, jealous, isolated or simply fed up. You can still feel hopeful and completely worn out at the same time. Well intentioned curiosity and advice from family or friends can begin to feel insufferable.

I know that fertility difficulties can affect so much more than your plans to have a baby. Your journey may be affecting your relationship, friendships, family, work, sex and intimacy, confidence, identity and the way you feel about your body.

You don't have to make those feelings sound reasonable. You don't have to stay positive. And you don't have to explain yourself to someone who doesn't understand. Counselling can give you somewhere to talk honestly about your experiences, hopes, dreams, and fears, with someone who understands that there is no single way to feel about it.

  • Fertility journeys can look very different from one person to another. I can support you with a wide range of experiences, including:

    • Trying to conceive

    • Primary or secondary infertility

    • Unexplained infertility

    • Fertility investigations and diagnosis

    • Male factor infertility

    • Female factor infertility

    • Fertility treatment and medication

    • IUI/IVF/ICSI

    • Unsuccessful IVF or fertility treatment

    • Cancelled treatment cycles

    • Deciding whether to continue, pause or stop treatment

    • Donor conception

    • Fertility preservation

    • Pregnancy following fertility treatment

    • Miscarriage and recurrent miscarriage

    • Ectopic pregnancy

    • Termination for medical reasons (TFMR)

    • Stillbirth and baby loss

    • Pregnancy after loss

    • Difficult decisions about your future family

    You don't have to fit neatly into one of these categories. You may be dealing with several things at once, or simply know that your fertility journey has become difficult to cope with.

    You don't have to be having fertility treatment to come to fertility counselling.

  • The emotional impact of fertility difficulties can be just as difficult as the practical and medical side of things.

    You might be struggling with:

    • Feeling overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted

    • Anxiety and uncertainty about what happens next

    • Sadness, grief, anger or frustration

    • Feeling jealous or resentful when other people become pregnant

    • Feeling isolated or misunderstood

    • The pressure and questions from family and friends

    • Pregnancy announcements, baby showers or being around children

    • Your relationship becoming strained

    • Sex and intimacy becoming difficult

    • Changes to your confidence, identity or body image

    • Feeling like your life is on hold

    • Balancing hope with feeling completely worn out

    • Deciding what you actually want to do next

    Well intentioned advice and curiosity from family can become insufferable. You may have lost count of the questions, the suggestions and the attempts to reassure you.

    Sometimes people mean well, but that doesn't make their comments any easier to hear.

    You might find yourself avoiding certain conversations, social situations or even people because you simply don't have the energy to explain how you're feeling again.

    Counselling can give you somewhere to put all of that. You don't need to protect anyone else's feelings or pretend that you're coping better than you are.

  • This varies from person to person. It’s best to start with a conversation where we can talk about what you’re looking for and what your availability is.

    I offer sessions online and over the phone. I also have limited availability for in person sessions in Birmingham.

    Please contact me if you’d like to discuss further.

  • You don't have to know to come to counselling.

    Deciding whether to try again, take a break or stop treatment can be incredibly difficult. There may be hope, fear, exhaustion, financial considerations, pressure from others and the worry that you might regret whatever decision you make.

    Counselling won't make that decision for you.

    It can give you the space to slow things down, explore what matters to you and understand what you're feeling without someone else telling you what you should do.

  • I am a qualified counsellor registered with the BACP. I work integratively which means I tailor my approach to my clients, there is no one-size fits all because we are all unique and each fertility journey is so different.

    I have also undertaken specialist training in fertility counselling and pregnancy and baby loss.

    I have completed the BICA Foundation Course in Fertility Counselling and Advanced Practitioner training with the Foundation for Infant Loss.